Monday:
In order for you children to know you mean business ( and to keep you calm and rational)
1) say it once
2) turn your back
3) walk away
4) talk about it
5) still say No
Monday is hard, its hard to walk away, its hard to connect and talk it out, and its hard to say no in the end. Our Monday was lots of fun, full of chaos and a kid following me around promising me the world if I only let her have her tv back! hold tight, I had to ground her off tv again and she took it like a champ no complaints at all!
Tuesday:
Its all about the A B C ‘s
A) Attitude
B) Behaviour
C) Character
You now understand were your child’s attitudes come from, and you’ve done a check in the mirror for your own attitude.
You understand why its important to be aware of the purposive nature of your child’s behaviour. You are determined to hold firm in directing your child character.
You also have 3 different ideas for success firmly in your mind.
1) Let reality be the teacher
2) Learn to respond rather then react
3) B does not happen till A is complete
We all don't want to admit that yes our attitude might in fact have something to do with this. but it does, and I spent from Tuesday on testing this, the days that I stayed calm, my oldest stayed calm, the days that I did not breath and count to 10 she did not breath and count to 10.
Wednesday:
Your taking the long view in this journey of parenting you’ve evaluated what kind of parent you are.
1) Permissive
2) Authoritarian
3) Authoritative or Responsive
You’ve evaluated how your parenting styles influences the way your child responds to you. You are actively thinking of ways your attitude, behaviour, and character can be better balanced in regard to your children. You’ve decided to focus first on your relationship with your child l, realizing that with out relationship with your child, rules will not be effective. You’ve also decided not to make mountains out of molehills, and you’re strategizing which areas really are important ones.
Really did not realize how all over the map my parenting had got, Been spending all week trying to change that around and come into a more constant middle ground of parenting
Thursday:
You understand the difference between self-esteem and self- worth. You’ve evaluated how you can help your child develop with the 3 pillars.
1) Acceptance
2) Belonging
3) Competence
You’re determined to move from praise ( focusing on how “ good” a person is ) to encouragement ( focusing on the action )
I read this book a long time ago, and I have been working the A B C 's into a lot of things so it wasn't hard to start this back up some we were still doing. We always let the kids know we accept them just not their behaviour, and we have always let them know, We are this family and this is how this family does things, and we have tried to give them competence but night be able to give them a bit more now. My oldest is doing much better on encouragement she has a hard time setting goals and moving forward she gets comfortable with were she is, so this has helped her to want to set that goal and move up a level in whatever she is working on!
Friday
Today launch your plans onto the kids, and remember, there are no warnings, no threats, no explanations, only action and follow through. Above all, there is no backing down, no caving in.
Your child’s behaviour will get worse, its like fishing in a creek, when you catch a fish, it will try to throw the hook out of its mouth by leaving the water and thrashing back and forth, ( fish out of the water syndrome) However if you talk to a fisherman, he’ll tell you in order to land that fish, you have to keep tension on the line. You don’t give that fish any slack. If you give slack no only will it jump of the water it will plunge back down to the rocks to scrape its jaw against the rocks to get the hook out. You have to keep the line consistently taut, because if you lose that fish it’ll be pretty tough to catch it again.
* Remember is its going to get worse before it gets better* i have already launched this all and it is going through he chaos point right now, they are fighting to try and get back to Disneyland.
Good luck, happy finishing and hold Firm!!!
Say goodbye to this, and Hello to a whole new way!
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